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The following blog contains sexually charged and explicit content.

Spring is undoubtedly approaching. I’m witnessing rebirth right before my very eyes. Little furry creatures are beginning to emerge from hibernation, including my very own furry critter. So much so I have been trying to decide if I wanted to try and allow my mini fro to grow untamed indefinitely. 

Inspired by the ever so sexy, Mystic and the ‘Hairy Monsters’ episode on The Boulet Brother’s Dragula, my lush mossy pube garden has been growing uninhibited since October. Before then, I hadn’t allowed a full bush to flourish down there since I was seventeen years old. Once I established a relationship with my hairy kitty, oh, the petting has been sublime all of the winter; I figured I’d leave my legs and armpits to their natural state too. The result has been softer skin and added warmth on the coldest days. And the very best part was when my husband, who is such a silent and gentle lover, whispered that entering me felt like a soft cloud. Oh, did we experience a downpour the PNW has never seen the likes of. You heard about the unprecedented flooding up here during the winter. Right?

Do you know how hard it is for a goddess-sized woman to shave her coo? There’s a lot that goes into it. I had to gather my boobs and gut in one arm while shaving my FUPA with the other. I had to get on the floor and balance a mirror with my feet while I de-haired my labia Majora. And, don’t get me started on my asshole and butt crack area.

As I lay there at times, petting my pussy, I wondered why the fuck had I not let my bush grow like this sooner? What took me so long to embrace the pubes? When I remembered, I realized again how much of my life, my body, has been manipulated by others. I remembered how I would have done anything to be more pleasurable for my lovers. How disturbing men’s kinks are and the pressures of what society considered Hygenic and beautiful. 

I remembered poking fun at my free-spirited cousin, who didn’t give a fuck when her pubes would stick out of her bikini bottoms. I poked fun because I was actually jealous she was so independent and didn’t feel the need to succumb to what was considered beautiful by anyone else standards. 

While I occasionally fashioned a landing strip or triangle throughout my twenties and thirties, I was seventeen the last time I had a full bush. My boyfriend convinced me to shave it bare because it was his preference. He didn’t hesitate to tell me I felt fine, but it would be better to keep it smooth. During that time, I was also convinced that it was unhygienic to have pubic hair. The pornstars and strippers were doing it. It was a trend and some sexist health revelation. 

I remembered when I was headed to visit family in LA with my childhood best friend, my infant firstborn, and my parents. I revealed that I shave my vagina bare. My Mom was shocked and disturbed, but this was the woman who lost her shit when I plucked my eyebrows for the first time. This may have been the only time that my mother was the one with a decent point. She asked, “ What kind of sick man wants a woman with a vagina that looks and feels like a child’s?” 

That perspective haunts and bother’s me until this day. The bare vagina may have been a trend rooted in something sick. 

While it’s still a thing and every person who has a pussy has their preference, there comes a time in a woman’s life where embracing her naturalness could be the moment of liberation. It was undoubtedly one of mine. As I have discovered ethical porn, I felt myself becoming even more connected to the divine feminine. I may be married to a man, but I am a pansexual woman. The feminine enamors me. I am deeply attracted to all sorts of femmes, and the more taboo she is, the more I fall in love and lust with her outward appearance, but I am drawn to the energy she exhibits. 

There are so many reasons why our bodies have pubes. Our bushes help lessen friction during sex. They function the way our nose, hair, and eyelashes do; they trap dirt and debris. Pubes help emit pheromones to attract potential lovers. Turns out, shaving, waxing, and other methods of body hair removal are likely to cause pain, ingrown hairs, and infections. 

A couple of weekends ago, I was having a ghoul talk with my friend Jenny. As we made our way to the Oregon coast, I told her that I have two hair textures on my head and I finally mastered managing my crown up top, but my mini crown down there also has two surfaces. There’s a tuft of long, straight hair at the top where my clit peeks out when she needs attention, and on top of that area is a textured fro. My friend says, “So, you have a pussy mullet?” #dead

So, this morning, as I contemplated Spring while shaving my husband’s winter coat ( his back hair matched the length and volume of his chest hair ), I decided it was time to tame my winter coat. My pussy mullet has been trimmed to one size, and I have a nice triangle going on, and my lips are still soft and fuzzy. I shaved my legs for the first time since October and laughed because I never got around to doing a Krampus photoshoot with them. I plucked my beard and mustache and eyebrows and trimmed my armpits too. While I can’t say what I’ll do with my body hair come summer, I am ready to begin wearing less, showing more, and empowering other femmes to embrace their naturalness and enjoy the hell out of their hot girl summer.

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mobrien@michellehalloween.com